This post is going to be super different from what we usually post on here, but I feel like I want to document today on here too as it was different from what I have been doing lately and I want to make sure to document that.
I don’t really talk too much about the most personal things about myself on here or to people online in general, but towards the beginning of this year, after months and months of not feeling like myself entirely, I finally talked to my doctor and we got me started on medication for what my doctor believes to be a depression. We started out with something mild and plant based, to see if that would improve how I was feeling. It didn’t do anything, so we changed to something else and I’ve been taking it for about 3 weeks or so now and I think I can finally feel a difference in myself.
It’s really difficult to explain to myself, let alone someone else. But I feel more balanced? Like, I feel like my brain and everything that is going on in there is more balanced and calm which has been such a nice thing to feel lately! My mom doesn’t really seem to understand what depression does to someone and she keeps telling me to just simply go outside and do something. But it’s really not that easy. And I don’t blame her for saying it, she has the best intentions!
Last night, I was watching Alfie Deyes’ vlog that he uploaded and he talked about how great it felt to be walking outside and just taking in his environment and not letting yourself get distracted by music or anything else on your phone and that really spoke to me in some way. And so when I woke up this morning I kept thinking about getting on the bus and going to this town 20km from where I live and hang out there for a bit. I originally planned on going to the park there and just read and take in all of the sounds around me.
But then the idea of being by myself in a park kind of didn’t sound as good anymore, so I ended up walking around town and sitting on a bench near this ice cream place and I just read for about an hour and it was awesome. I usually find that I easily get distracted by the sounds around me, but I didn’t mind the people talking at the ice cream place or the cars driving past.
My sister had decided to go visit our sister and nephews today, so she came to pick me up and while I waited for her, I got myself some nice ice cream and sat around and finally listened to some music and that was great too. We all know I love my music! As we arrived at my sister’s, she and the boys got dressed and we walked over to the playground near her house and spend a good half an hour to an hour just chasing my nephews around the playground, pushing them on the swings, going down slides and just soaking up all that sun we got today!
Today honestly felt like the best kind of medicine anyone could have asked for. I love the sunshine and usually, my overall mood starts to brighten up as soon as the days get longer and it’s not constantly dark outside (seriously, I hate winter simply for all of those long dark days) anymore! And I love my nephews even more than that! Getting to spend time with them is really the greatest thing!
So yes, today was a really great day and even now, a couple of hours later, I still feel really good! I have all the windows in my apartment open to let in some more of that fresh air as I sit in bed, writing this post. I might actually do some more reading once I hit ‘Publish’ because I already find myself missing all of the characters from A Court Of Wings And Ruin.
Reading this final book in Feyre and Rhysand’s story has been such a great experience so far and I am honestly so in love (or, even more in love) with the Inner Circle and I feel like Cassian has grown on me so much more in this book! And the more I start loving a character the more I worry for their well-being. I am basically in a constant state of worry while reading this book. I need them all to be okay. Well, almost all of them.
I feel like this post is already getting a bit out of hand so I will stop now. I hope you guys don’t mind this little post that isn’t part of what we usually post on here. How have you guys’ days been? Tell me about them! What are some of your favorite ways to spend time outside of your apartments?