My Current Emotional State

Evening everyone. 🙂

In all of my reading these past couple of days I’ve honestly completely forgotten to write a post for tonight or even really make plans for it, so I figured I would just do a bit of a ‘What I’ve been Up To’ type of posts and just talk to you guys a bit – hope that’s okay with you guys!

One of the first things I want to talk about is my overall mood lately. Towards the end of March, I had a couple of days where I didn’t take my medication for my depression (my sleeping was all over the place in the worst way and so I wasn’t awake in the morning to take said medication) and I quickly realized that I was beginning to feel stuff. Like, say something funny happened in a book – I would actually laugh. Same if something bad happened, I would feel sad.

There were all of these emotions that I hadn’t felt in months (and I hadn’t even noticed it???) and it’s like this switch was turned for me and suddenly my mood changed so much – for the better. I was feeling a lot more productive. I was feeling more and more emotions. So, I’ve decided to no longer take my medication. I don’t want to walk around life feeling numb.

I was talking to my mom about this earlier today and she’s still of the opinion that these medications do more harm than good and that I shouldn’t take them anyways but she was willing to listen to me and was happy for me that I’m able to stop taking them. I’ve said before how I don’t like being on medications like that daily and I’m really glad that I was able to go off them.

But unlike previously, I am now able to tell when something starts to feel off kilter and I know that I can talk to my doctor about it and get back on if need be.

I even feel like ever since I’ve been experiencing my own emotions more, reading has been more fun too! It’s not just this superficial reading experience that I feel like I’ve been having. Instead, I feel with the characters so much more and it’s awesome.

Yesterday, I got one of the most amazing emails I could have gotten: my wish for Leah On The Offbeat had been granted by the publisher on NetGalley and I had quite the emotional reaction to it. I don’t think I quite believed what I was reading in my own email but then once I saw the book right there on NetGalley, I started shaking and shedding a few happy tears.

I had been looking forward to this book for such a long time now and the fact that it was right there, at my fingertips, was just pure and utter joy that I couldn’t quite grasp for a little bit.

Funny thing! Back in March of 2017 I had been approved for an eARC of  The Upside Of Unrequited which is how I had been introduced to Becky Albertalli. Unfortunately, I didn’t end up enjoying the book as much as everyone else but it lead me to Simon VS The Homo Sapiens Agenda (and we all know how I feel about that one) and now all of this has come full circle just over a year later.

It’s really quite amazing the things blogging will introduce you to! Never in a million years would I have thought I’d find myself in a situation like last night where a simple email would affect me so much and yet there we were!

There will be a review for Leah going up on the blog on Monday but if you just want to know whether or not I enjoyed the book: YES. Do I think everyone should get it too? YES, ABSOLUTELY. PLEASE DO. I can’t wait to talk all about the things I absolutely loved and the few things that ended up bothering me come Monday! I hope you guys are as excited as I am. 🙂

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I honestly don’t even know how to wrap up this post, you guys. Is it weird if I thank you guys for letting me talk about this? I mean, it’s not like I asked you – I just posted this. But I feel like there are people out there reading this and caring about how I, personally, feel and that’s a nice thing to keep in mind. Thank you!

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25 thoughts on “My Current Emotional State

  1. I’m so happy to hear that you are feeling better now. If you feel happy (and just, y’know emotions in general) without the medication, you should definitely talk to your doctor about that. Leah!!! Ahh so excited for the book!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am glad to hear you are feeling better. At the end of the day you need to do what’s best for you and if medication is holding you back then it’s time to stop taking it. Also congrats on getting Leah on the Offbeat!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Yay, I’m glad you’re feeling much better emotionally! It’s good to know what your body is feeling, and being able to watch that is great!
    And I can not wait for Leah on the Offbeat. I pre-ordered it and I am so looking forward to reading Leah’s story!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Right??? I honestly should’ve listened to my body much sooner but you’re always smarter after the fact. 🙂

      Ah! I hope you end up loving Leah! Did you make sure to send in your pre-order receipt to Becky? She’s sending out fun postcards to everyone who pre-ordered the book and send in their receipt – if you haven’t yet and want to, just follow the instructions here: https://beckyalbertalli.tumblr.com/post/172068138721/leah-on-the-offbeat-its-a-preorder-giveaway ! PLUS. If you send in your receipt to the email address mentioned there you are also in for two different giveaways Becky is currently hosting on Instagram. *freaks out*

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        1. Ah, that’s awesome! Was it the most beautiful thing? I just send in my receipt yesterday because I didn’t even KNOW there was a pre-order giveaway happening and then she shared those giveaways and I was like OH MY GOD. Imagine winning the What If It’s Us ARC??? Or a piece from the ACTUAL SET of Love, Simon. I would FREAK.

          Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m so glad you’re feeling better. I had the same issues with depression meds. I hated not feeling. I didn’t want to go through life like that, so now I just try to pay attention and can usually tell when things are really off. Congrats on getting Leah, too!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m really happy to hear you are feeling better and all the emotions alongside the characters when you read, this is such a great feeling. Take good care of yourself and do what’s best for you, that’s the most important ❤
    I'm so happy you got to read Leah already, I can't wait to read your review for it 😀 x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Marie! And that’s exactly what I’ve been doing these past few weeks and it’s been awesome!

      I feel like the more I think about the review the more I want to rant about the few minor details that I didn’t enjoy instead of just showering the book with the love I feel for it overall. IT’S SO WEIRD. xD

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I’m so happy to hear that you are feeling better now and can laugh along with the books you’re reading 💗 💗 💗 It’s also good to hear that you can still talk to your doctor if things start to feel off!

    LEAH ON THE OFFBEAT!! I’m still baffled that so many of us actually got their wish granted and I couldn’t be happier because I never expected this to happen! 💗

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Caro! ❤ I feel like if my previous Hausarzt hadn't retired, I probably wouldn't have gotten the help I needed back in 2017 because I just NEVER wanted to talk to my old doctor – he always seemed like such a creep and I only went if nothing else was going to help if I wasn't feeling well. But then a new doctor took over the practice and I'm much more comfortable going in and talking to her and telling her if something is off – even if it might take me a few weeks like it did with the whole possibly being depressed thing.

      RIGHT??? I didn't even REMEMBER wishing for the book and then I just got HIT with that wave of emotions at being approved. xD Hope you end up really enjoying the book whenever you get around to reading it! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh no, I certainly know doctors like that :/ When my old one retired, I had to go to a building complex with lots of doctors … and they never took me seriously and had no idea what I wanted from them, or so it seemed to me :/ That’s so great to hear that you feel a lot more comfortable around the new doctor!!

        I sometimes select wish for it thinking “Nah, this will never happen anyways, but why not?” and then SUDDENLY THE BOOK WAS THERE!! I’ve since read the book and I really liked it (and not it’s ont the NYT Bestseller list! wuhuuu 💕)

        Liked by 1 person

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