Chit Chat: I Don’t Like The Unknown

Hello everyone! I hope you are having a nice day today. 🙂 What’s something fun that has happened today that made you smile?

Part of my therapy is to keep a positivity journal were I fill in at least a thing per day that made me happy or that I’m grateful for and it’s really nice to think about the small (or big things) that make us happy in the day to day. Especially in the middle of this pandemic and all. Which, speaking of positivity journal. I think I’m a few days behind. :O I should get on that!

You may have noticed that there wasn’t a new blog post this past week and that’s mostly down to the fact that my head was everywhere but on writing a new blog post.

As I’ve mentioned before, my health insurance agreed to cover the costs for me to take part in a rehab program for my depression and I finally recently got the date for when I start and everything. Which is also when my mind started running a million miles an hour trying to plan everything all at once. Fun times.

I’ve always been someone who doesn’t do well with the unknown. I like dates and set times for things to happen. I like knowing what I should prepare myself for, basically. And with this rehab program, I only got a date because I decided to call the clinic after I hadn’t heard anything in almost two months and I wanted to be able to plan.

So yeah, these past two weeks, my brain has been 90% occupied by me trying to plan and shop and budget all things rehab. Let me just say, online shopping isn’t as fun as I always hope. Sure, in store shopping can be frustrating too but at least you don’t have to wait for things to arrive at your house. I’m impatient. I don’t deal well with having to wait.

At this point, I have my budget set in stone. I have figured out how I’m getting there for the most part and now it’s just making sure I have all things clothes and stuff on hand early enough (though I’m getting there quickly. I have a few more packages arriving by Monday which should be the last things I’m buying online).

I’ve also been thinking about how I want to make my room at the clinic a bit more cozy since I will be spending quite a bit of time there and I don’t want it to feel sterile or anything.

And while I have everything almost ready and good to go as far as things I have to do before I leave go, I’m now slowly starting to think more and more about what I can expect while I’m there. I’ve never done a program like this before and I’ve also never been away from family for this long. And with lockdown here in Germany, it’s not even like I’ve been seeing my sisters much since Christmas? IT SUCKS.

So if I don’t post on here as often or am not as quickly to answer you guys’ comments, it’s because my head is preoccupied and I’m trying my best to get things done and ready so I can give myself time to chill and relax before I leave for rehab. I also want to prefilm and schedule a few videos for my YouTube channel so it’s not dead silent over there. I’m probably going to try and come up with some posts for here too, but I can’t promise anything. It’s weirdly more difficult to come up with blog posts than it is coming up with YouTube ideas. xD

How do you guys feel about change and/or the unknown and what are your best tips to deal with it? And to turn things around to something positive: what’s something you’re looking forward to doing, seeing, reading? Let me know in the comments below!